Over the years Gestalt Therapy has evolved and grown into a deeply compassionate and relational therapy. One of the features of relational therapy is egalitarianism; the therapist is participating as a full person, interacting with the full person of the client. Healing occurs through this relationship between two people, not where the therapist hides behind “the authority” role.
One of the main tenets of Gestalt therapy is the paradoxical theory of change. The theory holds that the more we try to change, the more we stay the same: that we do not change through rejection of ourselves. Instead, paradoxically, true change is possible when we are aware of and accepting of how things are for us in the moment. Acceptance isn’t resignation – it’s an acknowledgment of how we truly feel, think and experience which moves us away from our beliefs about how we should feel or behave. Much of our experience of confusion, feeling stuck or critical of ourselves develops from judging or not truly knowing what we feel and think. When we try to live according to our “shoulds,” we end up confused and feeling disempowered. We don’t trust ourselves and have a pervasive sense that there is something not quite right about us. Working with the paradoxical theory of change, we “get ourselves back,” we develop a firm footing and a more empowered position to then explore new options and change.
Lasting change cannot happen until we accept ourselves for who we are, with all our human flaws and struggles.
My focus is providing an environment where my clients can safely be who they are, where we can explore together how that is and discover new possibilities.